Breaking News: Moonlight, not Trump, Elected President

81st_academy_awards_ceremonyHOLLYWOOD–Audiences at home and live at the Academy Awards were shocked Sunday night when Jordan Horowitz, producer of La La Land, was rushed onstage by security and given a new envelope, declaring Moonlight had won the United States Presidential Election in the Electoral College.

Horowitz had come to the stage with the announcement that La La Land had won best picture. “Fake news,” the one-time president tweeted. “The dishonest media is at it again. SAD.”

“I was shocked,” Horowitz told the Associated Press. “Of course, we had been hoping for some way to free ourselves from the reign of the Cheetoh. But who would have guessed the truth would come out during the Oscars? Truth is stranger than fiction. Just bizzare.”

The White House declined further comment, although the Donald has been lighting up Twitter at all hours of the night ever since the announcement, with threats to ‘build a wall’ around the nation’s capitol.

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