Breaking News: President Trump Signs Travel Ban on Encyclopedic Knowledge

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WASHINGTON–White House officials confirmed today that President Trump has signed a new executive order, this time issuing a ban on encyclopedic knowledge from entering the United States. “These so-called facts,” the statement reads, “have had a free run at our borders for far too long.” The White House has pledged to secure American borders and prevent the arrival of more “extreme facts” in the country.

Naturally foreign encyclopedias (such as the Encyclopedia Brittanica) have drawn more criticism from the President’s base. But domestic encyclopedias are expected to come under closer scrutiny as well with the implementation of the order.

“A lot of bad, scary facts have been crossing our border,” President Trump said on the campaign trail. “Facts about drugs, about rapists, and some, I assume, are facts about good things.”

The White House declined to provide further comment at this time. When reached for comment, encyclopedias universally provided chilling examples of what has happened throughout “history” when those in power deny facts.

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