Breaking News: NASA Announces discovery of 7 Exoplanets; Trump promises to ‘Build That Space-Wall’


Yesterday the world listened with baited breath as NASA announced the discovery of seven exoplanets orbiting a red dwarf star some forty lightyears away, and suggested that three or four of the planets are orbiting in the ‘goldilocks zone’ and may therefore be capable of supporting liquid water (and life as we know it).

The White House was quick to respond to this new threat of extraterrestrial alien life by doubling down on the promise to secure America’s borders and “make Mexico pay for it.” In another whirlwind press conference, President Trump stunned the scientific community by ordering a “space-wall” be built around the continental United States. When asked what technology and materials would be used for the space-wall, the President replied, “we have the best, the most tremendous people.” When asked if this means there will be an executive order forthcoming ordering a substantial increase in funding for NASA, he said, “They’re [Mexico] gonna pay for it.”

gas_giant_exoplanet_orbiting_a_star_in_a_cluster_-_artists_conceptPresident Trump’s White House has been increasingly defensive about widespread criticism, particularly from the Democrats, on initial plans for spending cuts. NASA declined to comment today on questions regarding construction of the space-wall, and the Mexican government has yet to be reached.


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