Your face is like a basement floor

Your face is like a basement floor. It
always looks old and dirty. I think
sometimes you drive that beat-up thing because it
makes you feel like a cowboy. You know,
that old car is so much like your face. I know it
makes you feel like a cowboy. You know
sometimes you drive that beat-up thing because it
always looks old and dirty. I think
Your face is like a basement. Floor it.


Want to learn to sing? You need a teacher!

(This post originally appeared in The Bel Canto Chronicle)

I always stipulate (if you haven’t picked it up, let this be the official disclaimer) that in order to learn to sing properly, one must study with a teacher! A website, no matter how clever or appealing, is no substitute.

Part of the reason I started The Bel Canto Chronicle was that I was having trouble at the time finding good online sources for vocal tips, tricks, technique discussions, and voice-related entertainment. Since that time I’ve become a much more successful voice-blog search aficionado, and guess what? It turns out The Bel Canto Chronicle isn’t unique at all; troll around long enough and deep enough and you too will discover a plethora of digital projections from self-proclaimed vocal experts. Some with better advice, some with better writing than others, granted, but… lots.

Continue reading “Want to learn to sing? You need a teacher!”



Finger root felt fierce indeed. Child
notice dust. Themselves, worse. Moment
worth ocean, hear (skin)—silver shore.


Any people wait until sad place move, end.
Drink small, smell better. Summer turn
queer, gray field. Deep fence. Hurry,
climb. Wash himself.


He am happy head. Many man take
road over snow, give name to something.
She sleep. Morning, Mrs. Mother must
run (car) store. Boat is they. Three,
two, time.

Breaking News: Moonlight, not Trump, Elected President

81st_academy_awards_ceremonyHOLLYWOOD–Audiences at home and live at the Academy Awards were shocked Sunday night when Jordan Horowitz, producer of La La Land, was rushed onstage by security and given a new envelope, declaring Moonlight had won the United States Presidential Election in the Electoral College.

Horowitz had come to the stage with the announcement that La La Land had won best picture. “Fake news,” the one-time president tweeted. “The dishonest media is at it again. SAD.”

“I was shocked,” Horowitz told the Associated Press. “Of course, we had been hoping for some way to free ourselves from the reign of the Cheetoh. But who would have guessed the truth would come out during the Oscars? Truth is stranger than fiction. Just bizzare.”

The White House declined further comment, although the Donald has been lighting up Twitter at all hours of the night ever since the announcement, with threats to ‘build a wall’ around the nation’s capitol.

Crossing the Straits of Mackinac

People say men died by falling
deep inside the towers of the
bridge. Morbid, maybe, for a
child, but nevermind; I’ve always
wondered, did they lie? Were there
men who slipped and fell into the

Some days, windy days
when no one should be driving,
you can hear a whistle cutting
through the cables. You can see
the whole thing swaying. You can
hear their voices calling from the

But mostly, when I ride across the
chasm, I am taken by a sense of
flight; of floating to the heavens
on a thread of steel that cannot
know my name, or my child, or
my lies, the whole thing swaying,
morbid, cutting deep inside.

Where Does the Voice Live? 10 Ways to Find Life In Your Voice

(This post originally appeared in The Bel Canto Chronicle)

You know that singer that commands the room the instant they take the stage? The one that, when they sing, time stops and you forget about everything else for a while, just wishing it wouldn’t end? That singer is alive—their voice is alive. So where does it live? How does it happen? And how can I sound like that and project that kind of artistry when I sing? Inquiring minds want to know… where does the voice live? Tailored to beginners and students and presented in the idiom of the top ten countdown, here are my thoughts:

Continue reading “Where Does the Voice Live? 10 Ways to Find Life In Your Voice”